Spoken Word in Lieu of Father's Day

I know...Father's Day was totally yesterday, but I didn't have time to get up in here.
Anyways, since I last saw my Grandpa who lives in San Francisco (SF) I couldn't help but think of all the things he has been through in his life. He has survived 5 wives so that says enough *LoL*! Thinking of all his life experiences led me to think of my other Grandpa who lives here in Los Angeles (L.A.), my Dad, my Father-inLove, and my Husband. So with all those thoughts, here is my (not yet titled & maybe not really finished) spoken word for all the Fathers out there.

The eyes of any man tend to tell a story
But the eyes of a Father tell of a journey
You see it's in a Father's eyes where you see his beginnings
You know, before the children came along and he could score end-zone winnings
In a Father's eyes you see where he first met love
and was introduced to his first kiss
You see where he first met the Lord above
and when he kneeled on one knee to ask for eternal bliss
In only a Father's eyes can you see the determination to do right for the generations after him
and in only a Father's eyes can you see the sweat and tears that he held within
With lumps in their throats and hard work on their hands do you discover the masterpiece in his eyes
No color, no length of lashes, and no wrinkle around can make the eyes of a Father more beautiful
Because it's in his eyes where he sees miracles of his born children
It's in his eyes where you see the pride of a graduating son
It's in only his eyes where you will find the look of father seeing his princess turn bride
Looking into a Father's eyes can be terrifying
because there is where you find the truth of hard work
There is where you find the honest reality of how cruel the world can be
There is where you'll see the grief he's endured
There in his eyes when he's just gazing about will you see every road of his life's journey
And although it looks as if he's had the best life
You discover through his eyes that he's traveled some tough roads
And you will find in a Father's eyes that his children and their children is why he took the road less traveled

In my Grandfather's eyes I see my Father's eyes
In my Father's eyes I see my eyes
In my eyes I see my son's eyes
but my prayer is that when my son looks through the windows to my soul
He will see every necessary step taken for him just to see
I pray my son will know from one look in my eyes who the God of my Grandfathers is
I pray my son will look into his own Father's eyes every chance he gets
For one day those eyes will see eternity
I pray he looks deep within the wells of his Father's heart
For there is where he'll find comfort, understanding, and wisdom
I pray my son looks into his Father's gaze to see why he never looked back
I pray my son looks into the eyes of his father because only there is where he'll see
His Father's eyes tell of a journey worth following

Dedicated to all the Father's in my life:

~LA Grandpa: Aumua Gapelu Ugaitafa~

 

 

 

~SF Grandpa: Taai Taufetee~

 

 

~My Dad: Iata Gapelu Ugaitafa Sr. ( & me as a cute little girl)~

 

 

 



~My Husband: Romeo Maga (The first time we laid eyes on our son Romeo - the three of us were crying here...what an emotional, yet joyous moment this was!)

 

 

 

*Blessings to all of you! I trust you all had a wonderful day celebrating your Fathers :-)

 

 



Fun Facts About Me

I started this blog last Spring during my second trimester of my first pregnancy. I didn't really have any specific aim of what I wanted to blog about, I guess I just needed a place to vent about my life at the time.  I was in a transitional stage then: I was looking for another job, highly stressed with ministry obligations, newly married, expecting a Baby, & started noticing friends who turned into strangers (must've been because of my Baby bump idk). I never really introduced who I was, where I was from, and all that fun stuff. So here are some fun facts about me that I'd like to share with my wonderful readers.

Blogging
- I have been blogging since I was 15 years old on another site called Xanga. I logged on there last week and was not able to retrieve any of my old writings. Bleh. Any who, blogging allows for me to filter out my daily happenings. So much fills my head I tend to get crazy haha! So, blogging is my release. Although I am not here as much as I need to be, I am always right at home when I arrive. I hope you will feel right at home as you read my blogs.

Place of Birth: Killeen, Texas
- I lived in Texas until I was three years old. Moved to North Carolina afterwards (lived there for 11 months, then moved to Germany. YES! Germany.)

I Have Traveled Quite A Bit
-Only because 1) My Dad was in the military, 2) I went to college out of state - Missouri to be exact, and 3) I've been on several Mission's trips.
-Places I've been to in consecutive order: Texas, North Carolina, Germany, California, Washington, Samoa, Missouri, Colorado, Greece, Italy, Georgia, and American Samoa

Family
- Wherever you find me, I will most likely be with my family. I was raised in a very loving home. My parents have been married for over 30 years, I have 3 brothers (one lives in Heaven), and one sister. My family grew by one when I married my Husband and then grew even more when I gave birth to my son. Now that I have a little family of my own, I aim to raise my son up just as I was raised - God fearing & people loving. In addition, I have tons & tons of cousins, aunties, uncles, nieces, & nephews who I love so very dearly. I have two living Grandfathers - one in Los Angeles & one in San Francisco - the best of both worlds :-).

Faith
- I am deeply rooted in my faith. I grew up in a very conservative Pentecostal Christian home. From the time I walked out of my mother's womb I was holding a microphone & tambourine praising Jesus from the depths of my infant heart. Today the only difference here is that I love Jesus even more & I get to serve Him alongside my two favorite guys in the entire universe - My Romeo's (Husband & son). Big Romeo & I are going on three years of serving as Youth Leaders & it has been a roller coaster! There are highs and lows all around leadership, but when you're confident in who you're following, everything eases up.

I hope you enjoyed learning more about me. If not, it sucks to be you. LoL! Kidding! If not, thanks for stopping by.

Christine Caine - A21 Campaign...she's the bee's knees!

The message Christine Caine shared last night is still speaking to me this morning. I believe when God's word penetrates you so deeply that you can't focus on anything else, then you need to apply it, share it, discuss it, digest it, repeat it all, and then repeat it all again.

Here are some things she shared last night that I'm still chewing:
-How could the Israelites live through historical paradigm-shifting times & not have passed on the baton to the next generation? How could they experience the parting of the red sea & the falling of the walls of Jericho & not be moved or stirred enough to pass on the baton?
-All the greats of the Old Testament didn't have Jesus' sacrifice nor did they have the words of the New Testament to do what God called them to do...what's our excuse? Ouch.
-If you're not going to pass the baton to the next generation then you might as well stop praying against the enemy - you've already forfeited.
-I don't want to tell about the exciting times of the church from way back when, I want to LIVE in the exciting times of the church NOW
-What's the generation after you doing with their life? Make it your responsibility to leave God with them. Teach them, show them, involve them.
-May we not raise up a generation who does not fear God. May we not raise up a generation who does not go to church. May we not raise up a generation who loses all sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.
-Some Christians get saved & then wait around until they're old & frail for the return of Christ. Don't let that be you. You have a baton in your hand that needs to be passed.

She shared so much more that just has me on a roll this morning. I just wanted to share the few that are stirring in my heart right now. Happy Thursday wonderful people!

 

 

Daydreaming

If you are anything like me, then you are the type of person who dreams constantly. If you and I are anything alike then you are also the type of person who's dreams take place only during the day. I don't know about you but I rarely ever remember the dreams I have when I'm asleep at night. Nope. All my dreams surface when I'm wide awake & in a place where I should absolutely NOT be daydreaming. What is the meaning of all this? I constantly beat myself up mentally for daydreaming while at work, church, or even at home.

One thing I am not beating myself up for is simply...dreaming. Where are all my Dreamers at?! *Destiny's Child voices* "THROW YO HANDS UP AT ME!"

I'm a few years shy of my 30th birthday and I caught myself saying, "One day I'm going to do _________." Then I face-palmed myself and said, "Uhhhh NO Homegirl. You're almost 30. TODAY you're going to _____________."

I have had so many dreams & goals. So much so that you'd laugh hysterically if I told you what they were. You'd laugh & tell me, "I can't see you doing that." I'd probably laugh along with you and agree. Why do we do that to ourselves?! Have a dream & then talk ourselves out of it?!

As I'm writing this, it's becoming clear to me that my dreams occur during the day so that I remember them all. If asleep while dreaming, you can't write down a single one of your dreams. Interesting.

Wait. Back to what I initially intended to blog. Folks, I encourage you to make your dreams come true. More than that I encourage you to trust in the One who gives you these dreams - Jesus! Everything you have dreamed can come to life when you trust God.

So here's what you do:

1) Write down every single dream you have
2) Highlight the ones you are really passionate about
3) Make a to-do list of what needs to be accomplished to see your dreams live
4) Pray over that list every chance you get
5)  Get your pen ready to cross out every single dream that comes true

Psalm 37:4 (esv) says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Proverbs 16:9 (esv) says, "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."

Last but not least,

Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."

I take God at His word. I have desires/dreams, I will delight myself in Him. I have planned in my heart what I want to do, but God will lead me. Lastly, if I put Him first, everything I need/desire will be supplied.

Don't you just love how God works?!

Happy Birthday Momma!

 

 

 

The woman you see in the middle is my Mom. She was the first person in my life to embrace me from the moment I was born. She's been there for a lot of "firsts" in my life and I couldn't be more thankful. I know so many others who have lost their mothers & I always imagine what it'd be like to lose my Mom. I always ask myself, "If God called Mom home today, would I be able to handle it?" Truth is, I can never answer that question with a yes. I will NEVER be ready to say an earthly goodbye to the woman I admire & look up to so much. Since my answer to that question will always be no, I do my best everyday to live life with her to the fullest. I enjoy every conversation, every movie date, dinner date, scolding, you name it. I do my best to cherish those moments when they happen. Most of all I do my best to let my Mom know that I love her. I tell her I love her every chance I get. She's not the emotional type though ahah! She gets annoyed with me being so clingy to her all the time. In all honesty though, I'd rather my Mom know that I annoyingly love her. I never want to leave doubt in the back of her mind of my love for her. If there's any woman who deserves the world...it is my Mom so as long as there is air in her lungs & blood pumping through her veins, I will do my best to give her every inch of the world I can contain.

 

Happy Birthday Mom!!!!! I woooooove you <3

It's Not Always Good...

All too often I read blogs about relationships & marriages that tell about all the good things. Although I'm very appreciative of the encouragement those blogs have to offer, I feel it's very one sided. I've been married for a little over two years (still a newlywed in my perspective) and I have learned that it is not all good all the time...and that's quite alright!

Here are a few areas where it has not always been good:

1) Communication
Before we were married we were in a long-distance relationship for seven years. I believed with all my heart that our communication skills were on lock because that's all we had for seven years. Boy was I wrong. In marriage you gain so much more than just communication - you gain each other's hurts, joys, and families. You take on everything that makes up who your partner is. A good marriage must survive on more than just good communication. In the past two years we have miscommunicated everything. Our words would mismatch our feelings thus ending up in very heated arguments over things said that we did not mean. Most of all our words would mismatch our actions thus leaving each other feeling uncertain of trust. Your word is your bond. If you cannot keep your word, do not say a word. That is what has kept the peace in our communication - the matching of our words with our actions & the matching of our words with wisdom.

2) Money
It is the root of all evil. No, correction. The LOVE of money is the root of all evil. I used to think that a joined account meant more money. However, I have learned the hard way that more money equals more problems. Just like Diddy said. We have argued the most about our finances - the influx or the lack of - it is never ending. It is not that we are financially irresponsible. No. It is more that we did not sit down and discuss before marriage what our financial disciplines would be. We didn't set any boundaries or rules to guide us on financial principle. The most we discussed was the priority of our money - 1)Tithes 2)bills 3) loans/debts & 4) necessities. At the end of the day money will come and money will go. Make sure you have enough to keep you out of debt but have enough to keep you in a home. Lastly, enjoy the fruits of your labor!! It is okay to spend your hard-earned money on things you deserve and delight in as long as it has been discussed with your partner FIRST.

3) Expectations
Before I was married I had such a high expectation of all the things my husband should do in excellence such as clean the bathroom, take out the trash, fix a car, throw down a good meal on the grill, chop down a tree, slice a coconut with his bare hands, blow air into a bicycle tire with his own breath, the list is endless and....well....unrealistic. The worst part about these expectations was that I expected my husband to be a 4.0 student in every single one of these areas without me having to say a word. My expectations of what my husband should or should not do really got me into trouble these past 2 years of marriage. The poor guy may now think I'm bipolar because one day I'm asking for the entire world from him, the next I don't need a thing cause I can get it all on my own. Truth is, while I had my share of expectations of him, he had the same for me....a list of unrealistic expectations. We have had world war 3, 4, 5, and 6 all due to failure to meet each other's expectations. If you are currently doing this, stop. Stop and thank God for all the qualities your partner already has. Stop bickering and honor your Partner for all he/she already does for you in which you didn't even have to ask or lift a finger. DO ask your partner what their expectations are of you. See how you can best meet their needs in every area & then apply yourself. It's as simple as that. Definitely not rocket science. After all, your partner loves & adores every inch of who you are. The most they expect from you is your love - love him/her for who he/she already is without condition and without expectation.

That's all I got for now. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it can get ugly! It's okay though because marriage is also all about GROWTH. You cannot become ONE over night. You have to grow into becoming one and with every stage of growth comes its share of growing pains. GET YOUR GROW ON!  Growth means life! Growth means success! The lack of will let you know the very areas that need more water or sunlight.

Almost Valentine's !

I know it's been a while, but I wanted to share this story:

OUR STORY

How WE met:

Romeo & I had seen each other a few times a year because of church gatherings, but we were never officially introduced.  Before I go further though, I have to give you some background information.  Romeo was “that guy” that all the girls acted all cheeky around.  He was the guy (when getting ready for our big church fellowships) that every girl dressed to impress. There were a couple of times in particular where he was on stage worshipping with his youth (at church mind you) & girls were screaming his name from the top of their lungs.  All I could hear was, “GO ROMEO WICHYO FINE SELF!” LoL!  He was just every girls dream guy: handsome, well-dressed, & crazy in love with the Lord.  And there I was rolling my eyes, shaking my head, and COMPLETELY annoyed at how these girls were idolizing this guy OVER Jesus!  I was so explicitly in love with the Lord I felt no other man’s name should be shouted in a crowd at church unless it was Jesus’ name.  Oh but Romeo was LOVING it!  He loved the attention & knew he was good-looking. 

Fast forward to the day we officially met (Cornerstone Church – Fresno CA; November 9, 2002), a mutual friend and I were hanging out after a youth service and he just so happened to walk by.  She stops him, flirts with him for a little, and I saw he was…”that guy” haha!  She then stops her flirting to introduce us, but because I realized he was “that guy” I was not interested in talking to him.  I shook his hand, he asked me a question, but I immediately walked away to avoid any ego enlarging for him.  I know *insert smirk emoji here*.  We didn’t see each other for another month or so after that at a Christian single’s event at Boomer’s.  After our activity day at Boomer’s, our groups went to lunch together.  At that lunch Romeo popped up at my table & was so annoyingly rude to me the entire time!  Everything I said or did, he had a joke for and at that stage in my life, I was all too serious to take any jokes.  His Sister asked for my email to keep in touch and Romeo said, “I have a pen, I’ll write it down.”  I wrote my email down (this was before myspace & FB existed) and what do you know? He clowns on my email name!  This guys was FULL of jokes.  A few days later, I got an email from him J.  His Sister never ended up emailing me because he kept the paper with my email on it.  We started writing letters to each other as well because back then internet was on dial-up mode & if you were on the internet, the phone couldn’t be used at the same time.  Not sure if I mentioned this, but Romeo lived in Fresno & I lived in Lynwood, our cities were a 4 ½ hour drive away from each other, so we communicated often through letters & emails. 

In one email he said, “Your cousin Jaron wants your number to keep in touch.  He said if you could give it to me so he can call you.”  With no hesitation I gave him my number.  Well, that was 11 years ago and my cousin STILL has not called me LMBO!  Romeo ended up calling me a few days after I emailed him my number…smh.  This guy! After that one phone call, I was hooked.